


How Deep Is Your Love

by wulfpup



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Romance, Smut, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-01-28 01:27:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 19,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12594984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wulfpup/pseuds/wulfpup
Summary: Chanyeol lost his heart to the soul of every party one summer. Now, many years later, he does not want to settle for anything less than Baekhyun’s heart in return.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [loeybbh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/loeybbh/gifts).



> I wrote this as a gift to birthday girl, R. I drifted from the lovely prompt she gave me but I will make it up to you, lovely girl. Happy Birthday in advance. Lots of love. I had to break this fic into two parts and Part Two will soon follow suit. And to those other lovely readers who may have stumbled across this fic, I hope you love this. xoxo If you enjoy this fic, please leave a comment. Thank you.
> 
> My Twitter id - [Wulfpup6104](https://twitter.com/wulfpup6104)

 

 

_“You come to me on a summer breeze_

_Keep me warm in your love and then you softly leave”_

_~ The Bee Gees_

Park Chanyeol had returned to South Korea after three years. A long time, if you look at it. A long time in which his nephews had grown a bit rounder and his mother had grown older. He himself had a couple of grey hairs to show for his time drilling oil in Kuwait. Work had taken the front seat for a while. Now, as his contract with the oil drilling firm came to an end, Park Chanyeol found himself with quite a bit of spare time. Time which he wanted to utilise catching up with family and old friends. And then, who knew, maybe his wanderlust would take him to West Siberia this time. Both Rosneft and Surgutneftegaz had shown interest in hiring him, and with the kind of moolah they were offering, Chanyeol was game.

 

He was a successful mechanical engineer. His future had always looked bright; he had passed out of engineering college with flying colours. His early years after graduating were spent in Zhejian province in China. The pay was good, the food was good, the attractions were too many. But it was much closer home, and home he had always wanted to run away from. When Kuwait Oil Company offered him money beyond his wildest dreams to come work for them in Kuwait City, Chanyeol had been quick to pack his bags, and quicker still to shrug off the doubts being raised by his dad.

 He was done with his family, really. If they could not stomach the fact that he was gay, well, he could not bear to stand their hypocrisy either. Chanyeol’s parents had been proud of him and his achievements all throughout his younger years. When they faltered at the final step, Chanyeol could not bring himself to forgive them.

 But that was years ago, distance and time had tempered Chanyeol’s unforgiving nature. He was quite happy to be home this time. Yoora’s twins were keeping him on his toes, but Chanyeol was in love with his nephews. They were the babies he would never have. So, he piled on additional love on the two.

 

Kim Junmyeon, his best friend, also the Park family's next door neighbour, was not fond of the twins however. The four year olds made his life living hell on a daily basis. Too bad that Yoora asked Junmyeon to babysit Chen and Soo whenever she had work to do.

 “They broke my television remote the other day.”

Junmyeon recounted, proving himself quite capable of holding grudges yet again.

 Chanyeol chucked good naturedly and pulled Chen away from Junmyeon. They were sitting in Junmyeon’s living room, Chanyeol having brought the twins over to his best friend’s place for a visit. “Look at you, already a grandpa at twenty seven, complaining about babies and all.”

 “Speaking of, when are you planning to settle down? Any special someone in your life?”

 “Settle down?” Chanyeol asked as though the idea was ridiculous. “Me? Maybe I will find myself a nice Russian dude this time. Men in Kuwait were mostly closeted.”

“That Chinese dude you dated for a while, what about him?” Junmyeon knew all about Chanyeol's past affairs, barring one escapade. Chanyeol was the type to go for long, meaningful relationships. He chose carefully, and he chose well, and he was as dedicated boyfriend as any when in a relation with someone.

 “Lu Han?” Chanyeol started playing with Soo’s hair now, Soo was his favorite among the two. “Surprise Surprise. Lu Han decided he was straight afterall.”

 “Wow. I have never heard of the like. Anyway, that's good news then.” Junmyeon's handsome face suddenly lit up. Chanyeol looked up from smelling Soo’s hair at the excited tone.

  “There's a kid I am interested in, well not a kid exactly, but he's young yes. Have you heard of the gay Dating app, Thicc Thighs?”

 Chanyeol immediately covered Soo’s baby ears, “Excuse me? If Yoora ever hears about Thicc Thighs from Soo’s angel lips, she will skin you alive.”

 Soo looked from one uncle to the other.

 Junmyeon resorted to whispering now, “So I came across Oh Sehun’s profile in Thicc Thighs, and he is a piece of hot ass, I kid you not.”

 Chanyeol looked at his best friend distastefully. Junmyeon was as desperate a dick finder as any, even resorting to dating sites clearly marketed and aimed at teenagers.

 Junmyeon continued, “Sehun is a front desk executive at some nice lodge in Sobaeksan. He has been begging me to visit Sobaeksan. Summer time is the best place to go visit the National Park there. Sehun says he can get us lodging at half the normal rate. I was kind of  hoping you would accompany me there.”

 Chanyeol had to admit that it was not a bad idea. Sobaeksan was not too long a drive from Seoul, and he had always wanted to trek along the Jukgyaecheon river. Besides, a whole summer away from his family members, who were already talking about setting him up with girls, sounded more appealing than Chanyeol let on. He could hide away in the mountains until he arrived at a decision whether or not to accept the Russia offer. He had all the time in his hands.

 Junmyeon’s eyes lit up when Chanyeol nodded, his clasp on Chen tightening at which he received a box to his nose from the toddler.

 “Sobaeksan sees a steady flow of tourists in the summer. I am sure you will love it.”

Chanyeol nodded again, his mind already made up.

 “There's another thing.” his best friend said, setting Chen down. The toddler had begun to blow spit bubbles in Junmyeon’s cheek.

“There’s actually another reason why I asked you to come along. Sehun says there's a long time guest at the lodge, and he is single, and looking to mingle. He says it would be nice if I brought someone along and we could double date.”

 Chanyeol cringed inwardly; over time, he had become a picky person. He didn't know whether a quick shag with some tourist in the back of the beyond was what he wanted for himself right now.

 Junmyeon instinctively knew that Chanyeol was going to say no.

“Please,” he begged, “a summertime fling, if nothing else. You look like you need a distraction, something meaningless. You take life too seriously, Yeol. Sehun made the other boy an account in Thicc Thighs as well. Here, see,” Junmyeon hastily handed him his cellphone, “not bad, eh?”

 Chanyeol did not know what to say. The profile itself was sparse. He didn't know if Bobohu was even an actual name, and 'writer’ in the job description did not account for much. The picture, though, the picture got Chanyeol’s attention. It wasn't a face, not even half of it. Where the profile picture should have been, there was a pair of pouty lips, blowing a kiss. How forward, Chanyeol thought.

 “Was he drunk when he got this clicked? How old is he? Sixteen?” Chanyeol returned the cell phone.

 “Sehun is in his early twenties. Do you think a sixteen year old will stay without a chaperone in Sobaeksan?” Junmyeon observed Chanyeol closely, “So should I take it as a yes?”

 “I can't deny that I am intrigued by the kissy lips. Fine fine. Go ahead. Sign me up. If nothing, at least I will get to have my way with those lips.” Here, Chanyeol grinned.

 Junmyeon was suddenly reminded of his cheerful best friend of the former days; the cheer seemed to have left Chanyeol, only the best friend part of it remained.

 “I knew I could count on you. Letting Sehun know that you're interested in his friend, cool?’

 “And what of Sehun’s friend, would he be interested in me as well?”

 “As if! Hello. Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? Even the Queen of England will not say no to someone like you. What height. What brooding looks. What killer voice.”

 Chanyeol was glad when Soo went up to Junmyeon and hit his best friend for him.

 

A summer romance. Chanyeol was not entirely new to the premise, and if this time was anything like last time, he would be a lucky man.

 

 

 

The drive to Sobaeksan was peaceful, if you discount the fact that Junmyeon disliked speeding over 60 kilometres per hour. Chanyeol could do nothing but complain from time to time since Junmyeon was the one behind the wheel. The playlist too was a bone of contention, Junmyeon listened to trot, and Chanyeol wanted good ol' R & B.

 With some panic, Chanyeol realised that if this Bobohu person and he did not click, he would have to be miserable in Junmyeon’s lovesick, trot listening company, for the man could not shut up about the charms of Sehun.

 As the scenery changed from cityscape to countryside, Chanyeol’s worries faded away. Ahh, the fresh smell of nature. That's right, he was here to rejuvenate his soul, dating can take the back seat. Dating was not the most important thing to him right now.

He need not have worried at all though. The heavens had something magical in store for him that summer. A long period of drought was about to come to an end.

 

The Jihye Cottages, for that was the name of the lodge Sehun worked in, were five little very aesthetically built buildings. They were built on the top of a small hill overlooking the wide expanse of the mountain range. There was a parking lot to park their car and a small cafe. Other than that, the place looked deserted and bereft of footfall. A place to rejuvenate, Chanyeol reminded himself.

 Sehun seemed like he was still growing. He was handsome in a very mature and grown up way. But when he smiled, one could tell that he was really young. The lodgekeeper saw them to their rooms and carried their stuff for them. Junmyeon’s room was conveniently located on the ground floor, near Sehun’s quarters. Chanyeol’s was in the uppermost floor, the fourth, but that meant he had easy access to the terrace and the engineer did not mind.

 As Chanyeol washed and wiped away the dirt and grime of the journey, Junmyeon poked his head inside the room. “Lunch will be served in the terrace in ten minutes.” He looked positively pleased, and radiant. “Enjoying it so far?”

 “So far so good.” Chanyeol said non committally, pulling out a pair of ripped jeans and a basic white tee from his travel bag.

 “You better look excited. Sehun is going to introduce us to your guy.”

 “I am super excited.” Chanyeol mocked, not the least bit so.

 

He knew he created the best first impressions on everyone he met, he was just that kind of a guy. But whether the other fellow would be able to match up to his international standards was the moot point.

 Contrary to his initial opinion of Jihye Cottages, the place was teeming with tourists. The terrace was crowded with guests gathered for lunch;  lucky for them that Sehun had saved them a seat.

"Over here” the young boy waved enthusiastically. Sehun and Junmyeon at once began talking about this and that, making Chanyeol feel like an intruder.

 “There's someone who wants to meet you.” Sehun turned to Chanyeol and said, innocence in his childlike eyes. Sehun was a beauty and Junmyeon was lucky.

 “Ya, sure. Likewise.” Chanyeol said in a clipped tone.

 “He stays inside his room most of the day, always late for lunch.” Sehun supplied.

 Chanyeol nodded, his eyes on the stairway, from where Mr Bobohu Kissy Lips could emerge any moment now.

 

He was prepared to greet the person politely,  bow to him and offer him a seat and pour water in his glass. He had mentally prepared himself for the small talk to follow.

 What he was not prepared for was having his wind knocked out, his heart palpitating, his mouth gaping wide and his cheeks warming up.

 Byun Baekhyun always, always had that effect on him. And even after all these years, nothing, absolutely nothing had changed. Baekhyun was still so charming, so cruel in his own effortless manner, such a heartbreaker.

 Chanyeol felt like he was seventeen again. Seventeen and tall and gangly with a hoarse voice, and here Baekhyun was, still supremely confident, light personified, not a hair out of place, and oh so magnetic.

 Baekhyun had no trouble spotting their table; he walked towards them with an easy grace, eyes crinkling in mirth, hair dancing, his perfect teeth biting his lip. That is how Chanyeol saw Baekhyun, a fairy child descended on earth, or better still, a fairy child who saw fit to bless the lowly earthlings with his presence.

 In Chanyeol’s long years here and abroad, he would be damned if he had met someone so effortlessly charming as Baekhyun. So effortless at twisting Chanyeol’s heart, squeezing it and holding it hostage for a couple hundred years. Yes, that would be apt.

 

“Park Chanyeol, didn't I tell you we will meet each other again?” The angel descended from above said in his mellifluous voice.

 Baekhyun sat his glorious bottom down on the chair, even as Chanyeol struggled with his words.

 “Baekhyun, you? Here? How?”

 Their lunch companions stared at them.

“You know each other?” Junmyeon exclaimed with disbelief.

 Sehun lightly hit Baekhyun’s bicep, “ _Hyung,_ you knew him from before? Why did you act like you didn't when I showed you his profile?”

 “I didn't want to spoil Chanyeol's surprise for him.” Baekhyun grinned, his impish eyes never leaving Chanyeol’s.

 “Profile?” Chanyeol frowned, “You made me a Thicc Thighs profile?” he thundered at Junmyeon. His best friend coughed.

 Baekhyun shook his head, “The profile pic was meh, really. If I hadn't recognised you by name, I would have turned you down then and there.”

 Baekhyun looked like he had past expertise in turning down many people.

 Chanyeol gaped, unable to form two words, his attention focussed solely on the mole on top of Baekhyun’s lips which he had kissed quite a lot back in those days.

 “I am kidding.” Baekhyun trilled, “You are as handsome as ever.” He turned to the other two, “I am famished. Shall we start?”

 Hungry! Chanyeol didn't think he was hungry enough even for a peanut. He wanted to feast his eyes on Baekhyun was all.

 “We had a brief fling wayyyyyyy back when we were in high school, at a summer camp.” Baekhyun explained to the others at some point during their lunch.

To Chanyeol though, Baekhyun had been more than a fling. He had been a rite of passage for the engineer, a doorway to adulthood. Thanks to Baekhyun, Chanyeol would realise that he was hundred percent gay afterall.

 

Chanyeol felt like a fool. Writer. Baekhyun. Of course, he should have known. Baekhyun had received the Yi Sang Literary Award, only the most prestigious award in the country, for his debut novel. And how did he know this? He had zealously kept track of Byun Baekhyun’s literary career, more than he cared to admit to himself.

 “I am working on a new novel.” Baekhyun explained to Chanyeol, “I have been here for six months now, in Sehun’s terribly boring company.” He sighed, and no one had ever sighed as beautifully as Baekhyun, “I have lost my muse. I don't know how to proceed. I thought being in the mountains would help, you know?”

 No, Chanyeol didn't know. The mechanical engineer had never read a single novel in his entire life; he did not have the patience for fictional heroes and damsels. He was a practical guy. But he nodded as though he understood every word.

“I -” Chanyeol cleared his throat, “I have followed your career. You did well with your last one, topseller for record number of weeks. At your age, that is quite something.”

Baekhyun beamed at this. “Park Chanyeol. This makes me happier than any damned award I have ever received. So, what did you think of the last one? Was it better than the others?”

Chanyeol hesitated before replying truthfully, “I haven't read any of them.”

He felt like the absolute dick he was when Baekhyun’s face fell.

“So you haven't read any of my books?” Baekhyun asked, an inscrutable expression on his face, his cheerful manner slightly depleting at Chanyeol’s admission.

“I am not exactly a book person.” Chanyeol confessed, hoping against hope that Baekhyun would not think any less of him now.

The writer abandoned his fork and narrowed his eyes. That was the problem with Baekhyun, you never knew when the clear skies would turn cloudy. “Then let's not talk about my books. Let's talk about you. What have you been up to? What did you do after that summer camp? Did you get into med school?”

Junmyeon and Sehun turned to look at Chanyeol.

Oh well.

“I did not go to med school.”

 Baekhyun’s eyes widened. “But, you wanted to become a doctor.”

 Chanyeol played with the food on his plate, “I had a phase where I wanted to defy my parents. So I went to engineering college instead. I am afraid I haven't got out of that phase yet.” Saying this out loud to Baekhyun felt good.

Baekhyun seemed to understand what he was trying to say, “And now? Do you stay in Seoul?”

Chanyeol shook his head, “I was in Kuwait for three years. In China for two years before that.”

 Baekhyun pushed his plate away, and leaned towards Chanyeol. “What are you running away from?”

 Chanyeol wished with all his heart that he could run to Baekhyun, wished the boy sitting opposite him was the kind of person who asked someone to stay. He would have stayed for Baekhyun if for no one else, of that he was sure.

 

“The job offers were interesting. That's all. I am on a much deserved break now.”

 

Beside them, Junmyeon and Sehun had started a conversation of their own, something about dirty mugs and dirty pillows. They were laughing.

 

There was laughter in Baekhyun’s eyes as well.

 

“I am on a supposed break too.” the writer declared, “I take lots of small breaks and hide myself in remote places.” He looked around, “I came here to get back my love for writing. Somewhere along the way, I think I lost it.” His eyes came back to rest on Chanyeol.

 

“You know what they say, success in ninety nine percent perspiration and one percent inspiration?” Chanyeol offered.

 

“Easy for you to say, engineers don't need to be inspired to fix nuts and bolts, I suppose? It's so easy for you. The creative process is different.Do you know what it like when we suddenly cannot find the inspiration to write? Empty. For us 'writer types’, err, how do I explain this? We carry our muse around as we go about doing our business. Characters come and dance around us when we take the bus, and fingers itch to write that particular sentence lest we forget it. It makes us particularly absent minded when the grip is especially hard.”

 

The thought of having an absent minded husband pottering around the house suddenly came unbidden to Chanyeol's mind. He did not let the thought leave, nursing it to perfection.

 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Baekhyun asked after a while had passed.

 

“Simply because.”

 

Baekhyun smiled. It was breathtaking.

 

Chanyeol wondered if he deserved such perfection smiling down at him. Suddenly wistful, his stomach twisted in odd knots

 

“So did you find it, your muse?” Chanyeol asked. C’mon, he couldn't be so nervous. He was a mature, successful, well sought after professional afterall.

 

“I thought I wouldn't.” And here, Baekhyun's gaze was most penetrating. “But I have a feeling that my muse just walked back into my life this afternoon.” Baekhyun’s gaze did not falter as he looked suggestively at Chanyeol. Classic Baekhyun.

 

It was Chanyeol’s time to smile now. “That summer was kinda wonderful.” he admitted. So magical that he had trouble believing that it was even for real. Surreal.

 

Baekhyun tilted his head to one side, mischief clear in his demeanour, “ We could replicate that.”

 

Chanyeol drummed his fingers on the wooden table. “No strings attached?”

 

“No strings attached.” Baekhyun grinned.

 

 

 

That night, Baekhyun followed Chanyeol to his room. They had made love to each other countless times in the past. Getting acquainted with each other's body for the second time was like relearning how to cycle -  natural.

 

“How would you like to do it?” Chanyeol asked as he lay sprawled on top of Baekhyun, naked and sweating.

 

Baekhyun looked like a cat who got the canary.

 

“You do all the hard work tonight.” his long lost lover said with a hint of a whine, a hint of a smile. Chanyeol derived supreme pleasure when the smile disappeared from the lips a few seconds later, to be replaced by something more sensual.

 

When they were done, Baekhyun chose to stay back, throwing his leg over Chanyeol’s body, claiming him for the night.

 

The spark was pretty much there.

 

 

It was the same spark which had caused a summer fire all those years ago.

A fling.

Chanyeol tasted the word and tossed it aside.

 

 Passion. Passion would do. What they had then, and even now, was a peculiar passion, peculiar because a fire such as this had lain dormant all these years. Chanyeol had made no conscious effort to reach out to Baekhyun after summer camp, and neither had Baekhyun.

 

Baekhyun was a force of nature. He was wildfire personified. He had so much raw energy, an aura that attracted all lesser beings to his midst. He was quite the charmer, and what was worse, he knew it too. He would lick his lips and play with his hair and put those fingers of his to good use.

 

When Chanyeol arrived at the camp, a city boy in the distant mountains, it had been Baekhyun who smiled the brightest. At the bonfire that night, Baekhyun had laughed the hardest. He was so social, it was scary, even for someone as Chanyeol who was no introvert. His lips kept moving non stop, doing their magic.

 

As Chanyeol eyed him from across the bonfire that night, eyed those lips, he knew he wanted to kiss them. He had hoped to find an attractive girl at camp, but soon realised that no girl would do, especially when a wood nymph was sitting right across.

 

 Just a little kiss, a little something sweet from those terribly delicate lips.

 

When Chanyeol’s pals left his side for a quick smoke in the woods, he confidently approached the boy. He still remembered it as clear as day.

 

 Baekhyun had been laughing and nodding along to the girl by his side, but the minute Chanyeol’s shadow fell on him, the boy looked up and stilled. A second later, Baekhyun pulled Chanyeol’s shirt to make him sit.

 

 “Handsome.” Baekhyun remarked. “Really handsome.” His first words. “What's your name?”

 

Chanyeol sat himself beside the spirit of the woods, and offered those two syllables as though offering a secret. “Chanyeol.” he said, squeezing himself in the spot beside Baekhyun.

 

“Nice voice. You sing?”

 

Chanyeol shook his head.

 

“Me neither.” Baekhyun shrugged, the light from the fire reflecting in his shiny cheeks, or was it his eyes dancing. “I am Baekhyun. Silly name, I know.”

 

“Baekhyun.” Chanyeol repeated, unable to keep the grin off his face, “I like it.”

 

“Are you from around here? I have never seen you before, and that's a face I _will_ remember.”

 

Chanyeol felt chills in his gut as he pleasantly wondered if the boy could be flirting with him.

 

“My grandparents stay here. I am from the city.”

 

“Ooooooh city boy.” Baekhyun leaned close and whispered in his ears, the act leaving goosebumps in Chanyeol’s neck. “I always wanted a city boy for myself.”

 

Chanyeol was pretty sure Baekhyun was flirting now. He didn't know what to say. He had never met a more frank person. Or a more beautiful person. Either way, he was a little dazed and his confusion must have shown in his face, because Baekhyun retreated and blinked.

 

The cherub blinks.

 

Baekhyun began to say something but before he could put words in his mouth, someone tapped his head.

 

“Jongin, my man.” Baekhyun squealed, rising up and hugging the new arrival. Jongin was not much of a man yet, Chanyeol thought, sizing the boy up. Sure, he looked like Adonis, but still.

Chanyeol rose too, feeling left out all of a sudden.

 

“This is Chanyeol. He is a city boy. Be nice to him.” Baekhyun told Jongin playfully.

 

Chanyeol was smug that he was taller than Jongin. “Hey, bro.” he offered his hand. Jongin’s eyes twinkled when he smiled, were the boys around here all good looking!

 

Jongin’s voice sounded like he had caught a very sexy cold, “Glad to meet you.” Chanyeol’s edginess vanished at the boy’s friendly advance. “Can I borrow Baekhyun?”

 

Chanyeol nodded, and retreated a few steps. “All yours.”

 

Baekhyun laughed gaily, before hitting Chanyeol's bicep in a coquettish manner, “I am nobody’s, yet.” He cleared the air, before giving the widest grin and disappearing with Jongin in the woods.

 

Those bare few minutes left the biggest impression in Chanyeol’s life; such creatures existed, he thought to himself. Or was he entranced? Was it magic?

 

His friends beckoned to him and he went back to them. He sat through the night, laughing, but not really taking part in their shenanigans, not really there. His mind dwelled on the wood nymph from earlier.

 

In the next couple of days, Chanyeol found himself effortlessly pursuing the lad. Chanyeol would always team up with Baekhyun in various group activities, trying his best to impress the other boy. But he was cautious too, barking up the wrong tree would be catastrophic. What if Baekhyun was hundred per cent straight!

 

It happened on the fourth night. They were barbecuing meat. When they sat to eat, taking their seat opposite each other, to Chanyeol’s surprise but great thrill, Baekhyun’s foot found his. A footsie game ensued, unbeknownst to the others.

 

It was Baekhyun who ultimately lead Chanyeol to the lakeside when it was well past midnight and the rest of their friends had gone to sleep. They did not share the same tent.

 

Chanyeol followed silently, his heart thumpety thumping, the noise like a roar in his ear. He knew what was about to happen. Baekhyun pushed him against a tree. “You want to kiss me, don't you?” The wood spirit whispered, challenge in his manner.

 

“I do.” Chanyeol replied boldly.

 

“Then what’s stopping you?”

 

Chanyeol clumsily pulled the boy to him. The other boy giggled at Chanyeol’s nervousness. But when they locked lips, it was heaven. It was meant to be. Chanyeol had not meant to go farther than a few wet kisses, but he soon found his fingers unbuttoning Baekhyun’s thin cotton shirt.

 

It was pitch black, but as their eyes became accustomed to the darkness, Chanyeol could see the shape of Baekhyun’s delicate neck, his fine collarbones, and his waif like waist.

 

Baekhyun, at seventeen, was waif like. Baekhyun, without his pants, had curvy hips.

Chanyeol did not last long when the boy took his rock hard penis inside his mouth. He gave an involuntary grunt as he came inside Baekhyun’s mouth, horribly embarrassed at his lack of self control.

 

“Do me now.” Baekhyun had said, forcing Chanyeol on his knees. Chanyeol licked Baekhyun penis from base to its tip, eliciting those horny moans from the other boy. They were far from camp, there was not a soul around except wood creatures lurking about.

 

When Chanyeol tasted the sweet, salty essence of Baekhyun, with the flavour reminiscent of boiled corn, he knew he would want more of it everyday.

 

They swam in the lake afterwards, whispering urgently, kissing in between, touching each other’s body as though feeling a gift without opening the gift wrapping first.

 

Baekhyun was Chanyeol's first foray with guys, and a window to a whole new world. He would never be the same after that summer camp.  Baekhyun, who could talk till kingdom come and kiss till Chanyeol’s lips bled. Baekhyun who kept Chanyeol coming back for more.

 

Chanyeol wanted to bare his heart out to Baekhyun, lay everything out for the boy to see - the quickening of his heart when Baekhyun smiled at him, the rising heat in his loins whenever Baekhyun drew near, the nervousness that spread during Baekhyun’s sudden mood changes.

 

But with Baekhyun, it was hard to have a serious, meaningful conversation. They talked a lot, but nothing of import, not about the future. Chanyeol told him that he wanted to become a doctor, buy Baekhyun gave nothing away. It was as if he hated talking about himself and would much rather fondle Chanyeol when no one was looking.

 

It was all fun and games and laughter and fucking each other in the dark, mindful of others, sometimes going at it for hours on end. Baekhyun was never serious about anything, Chanyeol, energetic though he was, found it hard to keep pace. Sometimes, it felt as though Baekhyun was rushing through life at breakneck speed.

 

“Should we keep in touch after camp?” Chanyeol asked eagerly one day, popping the question when Baekhyun had been sitting still for a while for a change, concentrating on peeling boiled eggs.

 

Baekhyun blinked at him. “But didn't we decide to keep it just a summer fling?’

 

“Y-yeah. But that doesn't mean we cannot keep in touch.”

 

“Don't see why we should. Listen. I am attracted to you and all. But why spoil such a beautiful memory! We will cherish it all the more if we go our separate ways.”

 

Chanyeol was terribly hurt. He walked around the camp, his tail between his legs, licking his wounds. He was a wounded animal. Discovering that the other boy did not perhaps like him back in the same way broke Chanyeol’s heart.

 

But why should Baekhyun, in the first place? Baekhyun was a prince, commanding everyone's attention, and Chanyeol was just another tall, gangly boy, hungering for his attention. Chanyeol felt that he should be grateful that Baekhyun had decided it worthwhile to even let himself be fucked by Chanyeol that summer.

 

Chanyeol was smitten but he himself was only a summertime fling.

 

Chanyeol consoled himself by saying that at least, out of four score boys in the camp, Baekhyun had chosen him, had parted his legs for him, had allowed Chanyeol to touch him and pet him and lead him around.

 

Baekhyun and he went to watch the dawn one day. They saw different suns that morning.  Baekhyun was awed by the orange light, and Chanyeol was awed by the ball of warmth next to him. Sun Baekhyun was indeed, didn't Chanyeol just revolve around him.

 

Chanyeol was bittersweet when they said their farewells. “I wish you well, wherever you go, in whatever you do.” He had softly said, clearly wanting to say more but Baekhyun had not given him any opportunity to bare his heart.

 

“Awwwwie, that's sweet. I am sure we will meet again someday.”

 

Chanyeol looked at Baekhyun sadly, they had not even exchanged phone numbers.

 

The last memory Chanyeol had of Baekhyun was the latter waving his hand as Chanyeol's car turned around the corner.

 

He missed Baekhyun, for a day or so. Then he grew out of it. It is what kids do best, they grow out of things, out of clothes, and out of unfulfilled relationships. It is enviable, how easily a heart repairs itself in younger years.

 

 

Now, spooning Baekhyun as the other softly snored, Chanyeol realised that he shouldn’t  have let Baekhyun get away. He also realised that this time, letting go would be tough. Maybe, this time, he won't let go of the man. But how do you keep creatures who belong in the wild as your pets? How? How?

 

Between that summer and this one, Chanyeol suddenly felt he had lived so little. He hadn't lived half as much as Baekhyun, of that he was certain. Chanyeol realised he was still not over his teenage infatuation with Baekhyun.

 

He could feel it. He knew it. He would lose himself in Baekhyun’s selfish, wayward ways again.

 

When Chanyeol woke up in the morning - late morning, judging by the sun - Baekhyun had already left. Ah! As expected. The engineer looked around for his clothes, then decided he need a change of clothes. A quick shower later, he was ready to seize the day, this time in a black tee and comfy track pants.

 

He looked at himself in the mirror for a length of time. There's a handsome face, he thought, smiling at himself in the mirror. His smile disappeared at the thought of all the handsome males Baekhyun must have dated all these years.

 

Sigh!

 

Baekhyun was no where to be seen at breakfast, which was all very well for Junmyeon because he could prod Chanyeol.

 

“How come I, your best friend, did not know about you and Baekhyun? You sly fox, you never once bragged that you slept with this celebrated author. What other secrets will you take to your grave?”

 

Chanyeol gobbled the food, he was hungry after last night’s wild romp.

 

“It's nothing to brag about.”

 

“It isn't? Byun Baekhyun! The Byun Baekhyun! Eccentric writer par excellence!”

 

“He is my tenderest memory from childhood.” Chanyeol explained. He wouldn't besmirch that memory by playing it off as a good lay.

 

“Sometimes Yeol, I don't get you at all. You act all high and mighty infront of the best people. And yesterday, you were nervous and sweating over a teenage crush. Is he that good?”

 

Chanyeol rolled his eyes.

 

“I am still miffed you never mentioned Byun Baekhyun, not even once, not even when you were really sloshed and senti.”

 

Chanyeol simply shrugged. How could he even begin to describe Baekhyun to others? Even the most eloquent person would pull their hair out trying to find the perfect words to describe Baekhyun.  One could, but when one says autumn is beautiful and warm, does it really do justice to autumn? One can fully appreciate the season only when they breathe in the autumn air, and stand under its soft sunlight. Likewise, one had to see Baekhyun’s face light up to know what he was. Baekhyun was an experience.

 

The writer knocked on Chanyeol’s door later in the day. Chanyeol had been expecting that. Baekhyun came and left at will. Tying a fey creature like that would be catastrophic.

 

The fey creature was wearing a white sleeveless vest and some loose shorts that reached down to his knees. Chanyeol immediately drew him in for a kiss, the move involuntary. Baekhyun let himself be kissed, then gently stepped back. He was holding two helmets.

 

“C'mon lover boy. We have work to do.”

 

“Are we going somewhere?” Chanyeol’s eyes lit up at the prospect.

 

Baekhyun whispered urgently, “To spy on someone. So try and be discreet.” Then he looked at Chanyeol from top to bottom, “but you are so tall, can you ever be discreet?”

 

“Spying? On who?”

 

Baekhyun made his fingers dance, beckoning him urgently, “The husband of the cleaning lady, if you must know. She suspects him of cheating on her. C'mon lad. No time to lose.”

 

Chanyeol was still laughing as he drove the scooty through the narrow trails of the hills, Baekhyun sitting behind him, clutching his waist with both hands.

 

He never took Baekhyun as the type who would lend his James Bond-esque services to the cleaning lady.

 

“It's not funny.” Baekhyun pouted as they sat down on the grass after parking the scooty a little way off the trail. They were supposed to be observing the rice cake seller as he doled out his wares to hungry tourists from their vantage point. “Go Ara really suspects him of cheating on her with the flower lady yonder. She begged me to spy on him.”

 

Chanyeol laced his fingers with Baekhyun’s, revelling in the warmth, “So what did you find? Is he cheating on her?”

 

Baekhyun huffed, “Not once did I see him making any eye contact with Sohyun. But Go Ara is so sure. She just needs proof so that she can break up with the drunkard.”

 

“And you made it your mission to champion her cause? I thought you were here to find your muse, seems like you are busy with trivial stuff.”

 

Baekhyun frowned, “This isnt trivial stuff at all. I hate people who take their marriage lightly.”

 

This from Baekhyun, who never took anything seriously.

 

Chanyeol placed his hand on Baekhyun’s knee, willing the other to look at him. “Kiss me.” he mouthed. He better sample all of Baekhyun before the latter vanished, yet again.

 

They kissed under the soft sunlight, the summer breeze ghosting over them.

 

“If you beg for all my attention, who will keep an eye on the rice cake seller?”

 

Chanyeol’s fingers were threading Baekhyun’s hair, “He had your attention for all this time. I am sure Go Ara won't mind this slight distraction.”

 

Baekhyun rubbed his nose against Chanyeol’s, “Except you are not a slight distraction. You are a huge distraction.” He admitted.

 

It felt nice, Baekhyun admitting something of the sort.

 

There, Chanyeol felt it. That odd thump thump returning after all these years. Oh boy, he was in trouble. Baekhyun was trouble.

 

 

He had something to admit too. “I travelled far and wide, Baekhyun. I never met someone quite like you.”

 

Baekhyun smiled automatically. He glanced at Go Ara’s husband before asking, “Did you come across too many people in your travels?”

 

“Three.” Chanyeol replied candidly. To Baekhyun and Baekhyun alone, he was willing to bare his soul. “I dated three people- serious relationships, you may call them. There was Lu Han in China, Siwon while I did my engineering and Luna.”

 

Baekhyun raised his brows, “A girl?”

 

Chanyeol coughed, extracting his hands away from Baekhyun, “Luna was right after - you know - that summer. I was still debating whether I was - my sexual orientation, you see.”

 

Baekhyun nodded, but he was looking at the rice cake vendor. “So, in those three years you were in Kuwait, you did not date anyone?”

 

Chanyeol shook his head, trying to gauge Baekhyun’s mood. “Not one. I totally applied myself to work. I did quite well too, I will have you know.”

 

“Oh I am sure.” Baekhyun answered flippantly. “You are the devoted type.” Chanyeol felt Baekhyun was being sarcastic, but there was no way to know. The writer wasn't looking at him.

 

Chanyeol made Baekhyun turn towards him, “And you? What about you?”

 

Baekhyun met Chanyeol’s eyes, “I don't believe in relationships, Chanyeol.” He said, and gestured towards the vendor, “They married so young. They were head over heels in love. Look at them now. Bickering and fighting, pointlessly carrying on, who wants to be trapped like that? I am a free bird. No one will put me in a cage.”

 

“You think marriage is a cage?”

 

“The bitterest of cages.”

 

Chanyeol did not want to cap Baekhyun’s light and keep it all for himself. He just wanted to bask in it.

“Aren't you a little bit cynical?”

 

“Aren't we all a little bit cynical?”

 

“There are good people too, you know, who would never try and make you bend to their will.”

 

“You mean people like you?” Baekhyun tossed the words at him with a smirk.

 

Chanyeol was flustered. “I did not say I was the ideal guy and all.”

 

Baekhyun sighed, “You’re a keeper, Chanyeol, there is no doubt about it. But what to do?” Baekhyun laughed merrily, his happy spirits returning, “I don't build nests.”

 

Chanyeol laughed along with Baekhyun, but he felt his stomach lurch inside. Pop burst all his hopes of snagging Baekhyun this time around. But he was still determined to make a summer out of it.

 

They returned at dusk with nothing to report to Go Ara.

 

“Carry me piggyback.” Baekhyun demanded when they reached the stairs.

 

“You're not exactly lightweight, you know.” Chanyeol teased.

 

“If you carry me piggyback, I will let you bathe me.” Baekhyun winked. Chanyeol laughed. Ofcourse he wanted to bathe Baekhyun.So he gave Baekhyun his piggyback ride.

 

Lathering soap on the writer’s baby skin later, Chanyeol worried that he was a teeny tiny bit in love. The way Baekhyun just let Chanyeol have his way with his body, allowed him to rub soap here and there like an obedient child - it stole away Chanyeol’s heart bit by little bit.

 

Baekhyun closed his eyes and pushed his lips forward for a kiss when Chanyeol rubbed shampoo in the writer’s hair.

 

Such a naughty, demanding, brazen person, Chanyeol thought. He gave a small peck on Baekhyun’s sudsy mouth.

 

Baekhyun hugged him tight when Chanyeol turned the shower on, soaking the engineer’s clothes. Chanyeol laughed when he pretended to shiver under the cold water, going brrrr. But Baekhyun let Chanyeol nicely rub the soap and shampoo off, quite at ease with Chanyeol under the shower, stark naked.

 

Baekhyun was obedient until the time Chanyeol nicely towelled him dry. With his damp hair and pinkened cheeks and really erect nipples which Chanyeol was trying to ignore, the writer threw Chanyeol suggestive looks.

 

“Why aren't you looking at me properly?” Baekhyun challenged.

 

Chanyeol looked at Baekhyun’s hardening member, and gave a grin of his own.

 

“I thought you would jump at me in the shower but you have remarkable self control.” Baekhyun turned away, giving Chanyeol a full view of his delectable butts. Chanyeol’s fingers itched to squeeze them, again and again.

 

Baekhyun sat on the bed and patted it with his adorable hands. “Get out of your wet clothes and park your bum here, Park Chanyeol. I haven't washed myself so thoroughly for you to enjoy me from a distance.”

 

He fell back on the bed and waited for Chanyeol to join him.

 

The engineer knew all of Baekhyun erogenous zones. He had not forgotten at all. Chanyeol knew that sucking the base of Baekhyun's throat made the writer squirm pleasurably. Slowly licking Baekhyun’s lower abdomen produced melodious squeals from his mouth.

 

Baekhyun also liked light licks on his balls. He liked to be lightly spanked on the butt. There was nothing Baekhyun shied away from. So, when Chanyeol pushed his finger inside the all too eager hole, the writer parted his legs with abandon.

 

Baekhyun’s insides were snug, and just the right amount of tight and moist. Chanyeol’s finger roved inside the velvety interior until Baekhyun suddenly gasped. Pleased, Chanyeol pushed a second finger in. And a third.

 

By the time Chanyeol’s thick cock had hardened, Baekhyun was quite ready to be filled.

 

“Get up on all fours for me, baby?” Chanyeol murmured.

Baekhyun turned to his side and lay flat on his tummy. Chanyeol helped Baekhyun hoist himself up on his knees, his hand possessively clutching the writer’s abdomen. He rubbed his penis against Baekhyun’s butts, ready to go in.

 

“I am going to go real slow, okay?” Chanyeol leaned on Baekhyun to whisper in his ear.

 

Chanyeol liked to take his time. He loved prolonging his orgasm. He loved bringing his partners to fruition before seeking his own release. He was a giver.

 

And when Baekhyun was crouched so daintily infront of him, all the more incentive for Chanyeol to take it slow.

 

He kneaded and spanked Baekhyun’s bottom as he built a steady, rhythmic pace. His large palms travelled the expanse of Baekhyun’s back.

 

Baekhyun, especially during doggy style, looked as if he had suddenly developed wings on his back. An angel, Chanyeol thought, giving his cock the gift of Baekhyun’s warmth. He could do this forever.

 

“Faster.” Baekhyun pleaded. “I …. uh….am….please.”

 

Chanyeol gripped Baekhyun's damp hair and pushed in harder, faster.

 

“Yes….like that.” Baekhyun slurred, “Don't stop.”

 

Chanyeol’s hand left Baekhyun’s hair and travelled all the way to his hanging dick. He enclosed the wet tip of Baekhyun's penis with his palms.

 

“Come in my hands, baby.” he whispered.

 

Baekhyun grunted his response, his orgasm hurried on by Chanyeol’s seductive whisper.

 

His sperm filled Chanyeol’s palm, drenching the engineer’s knuckles. So hot, so warm.

 

Chanyeol pushed inside Baekhyun with vigour, chasing his own orgasm, letting go of the sensitive dick in his hand and smearing Baekhyun’s lovely bottom with the cum spilled earlier.

 

Even as Baekhyun squirmed weakly under him, Chanyeol released his seed inside the tight ass.

They both crumbled on the bed, taking weak breaths, dozing off after a while.

 

 

They went trekking the following day, just the two of them, in their hiking shorts and shoes.

Junmyeon did not want to accompany them, as Sehun couldn't really leave the cottages. Chanyeol was sure the two were painting the walls white, with the amount of breakfast Junmyeon consumed that morning.

 

“Nightly activities making you ravenous, I see.” Chanyeol had teased Junmyeon at breakfast. His best friend had blushed.

 

Not like Chanyeol and Baekhyun weren't having their fair share of fun.

 

 They made love at an isolated part in the hills, with the birds calling out to them for being so shameless so early in the morning.

 

When the sun was on top of their heads, Baekhyun showed him his version of the Kagura dance, chortling over his own foolishness.

 

With Baekhyun dancing around him in that fine summer day, Chanyeol let his breath slowly out, reveling in the beauty that was Byun Baekhyun.

 

Just like that, his heart had once again gone and wrapped itself prettily around Baekhyun’s little finger.

 

Could losing control feel this good?

 

He approached the boy silently moving around and embraced him in a tight hug, kissing the life out of him.

 

“Why do you kiss me like that, out of the blue sometimes?” Baekhyun asked on the way back.

 

“Because I feel - haha” Chanyeol laughed at his own absurdity, “Kissing you feels like breathing sometimes.”

 

Baekhyun rolled his eyes and made a face, immediately distancing himself from Chanyeol. But he seemed satisfied with the answer.

 

The engineer did not know what to make of his lover. With Baekhyun, he could cuddle and crumble all at once.

 

“I often wondered what we would say to each other when we meet again.” Baekhyun said out aloud. He had a skip in his step. The Kagura dance hadn't lowered his stamina one bit. Nor had their wild romp in the grass.

 

“And? What would you like to say?”

 

“You're hot.” Baekhyun laughed, amused at his own self. “That's the only thing that comes to my mind right now.”

 

“You're beautiful when you smile.” Chanyeol found himself blurting.

 

Baekhyun smiled good naturedly. “So people say.”

 

“People?”

 

“Men. Boys. All shapes and sizes. I don't discriminate. Every encounter gives me material for my books.”

 

Baekhyun was always looking for material, it seemed.

 

“Have you decided what to write about next?”

 

“It's coming to me, bit by little bit.” Baekhyun replied, stretching his hands and yawning. Chanyeol could see the writer already begging for piggyback ride in the next half hour or so.

 

What would it be like, to have a boyfriend like Baekhyun, he wondered. They weren't even exes. It would have been nice if he had some kind of claim on Baekhyun’s being, imaginary or otherwise.

 

“What would you say if I were to tell you that I have been looking for someone like you all this time, searching for you in them?” Chanyeol halted in his tracks.

 

“I would say bull.” Baekhyun scowled. “There's no one like me. No one could be.” he pulled Chanyeol for a kiss and bit his lip. “Say it.” he demanded, “Say that no one can be like me.”

 

Chanyeol kissed Baekhyun some more, “No one can be like you.” he recited with all his heart. The writer seemed satisfied with this.

 

 

The engineer went wherever Baekhyun took him, to markets one day, trekking the next, cycling in the mornings, scooty rides when Baekhyun felt like ice creams from the nearby town.

 

They spent one whole day looking for the lost kitten of the fruitseller.  The other day they helped clean up the entire fourth floor of their cottage - Baekhyun and his arbitrary charity work.

 

Afternoons were solely made for spying on the rice cake seller, yet no clue as to his loyalty or lack of it surfaced.

 

Chanyeol could feel that he was losing himself in Baekhyun once again, and just like last time, he did nothing to stop it. He let it happen. If death was so sweet, could he die already please?

 

This fey little thing had come to guide him home, he felt. After years of drifting, Chanyeol felt tethered. To someone who did not even want him to stay - the irony.

 

But sometimes, Chanyeol felt like Baekhyun cared more than he let on. He could not put his finger to it, he just knew, Baekhyun cared for him just as much. Baekhyun was a wily creature and would not impart with anything that could be used against him later. But Chanyeol could tell with absolute certainty that no one had brightened Baekhyun’s days like he did, no one had unravelled Baekhyun in bed in quite the same manner.

 

Chanyeol wondered why Baekhyun was never forthcoming with his true feelings. The eccentric writer would reveal a lot with his actions, sticking close to Chanyeol, as close as was possible, but would rarely put his affection into words.

 

Baekhyun was the cat who would not show his master that he cared too.

 

The wilful Baekhyun turned so pliant at his touch, like the keys of the piano playing the sweetest melody at his softest instigation. Baekhyun was his undoing, and could very well be his resurrection.

 

Chanyeol worshipped Baekhyun. He sucked his fingers, and then would proceed to lick Baekhyun’s toes. Baekhyun was a lazy bum in bed, but Chanyeol did not mind. He liked having his way with the cat, taking his own sweet time rediscovering the erogenous zones of the writer.

 

The writer was rarely shy, but on those rare occasions, when Chanyeol would tenderly wipe the evidence of their lovemaking off their bodies, Baekhyun would look away, and hide his blush.

 

Leaving behind hickeys in Baekhyun’s skin gave Chanyeol a sinful pleasure, like marking one's territory with pee.

 

Waking up to a Baekhyun splayed all over him was at once disconcerting and breath taking. Kissing a sleeping Baekhyun on his nose and cheeks over and over was heaven.

 

Just like the last time, they never talked about goodbyes. There was so much life to be lived, they could talk about existing later.

 

Sometimes they did not talk at all. All they did was kiss. And lazily rub against each others body.

 

They made love in the open, by the river, under the stars, more wild and wanton memories to add to their ever growing kitty.

 

Chanyeol could not thank Junmyeon enough for bringing him to Sobaeksan. It worked out for Baekhyun as well. He finally started on his draft. He would write in his laptop every evening, chewing his lips in concentration as Chanyeol lazily snuggled against him.

 

 The engineer would wonder how magical it would be to be a writer’s boyfriend. He would hope for a miracle then. His prayers would be the sincerest ever.

 

Some days, Baekhyun could be really moody. He would type away furiously. He would swat Chanyeol’s hands away if the engineer tried to touch him.

 

It was petty, but Chanyeol wanted Baekhyun all for himself. He resented the long phone calls Baekhyun made to his editor, and best friend, one Zhang Yixing in China. But Baekhyun would disconnect the call and do or say something so endearing that Chanyeol soon forgot his mild displeasure.

 

The mails and reminders from Russia piled up in his inbox. He stopped opening them. He thought he could clear his head and take a decision about the best future course of action in the mountains, but who thinks about the future when the present was blindingly beautiful?

 

 

Some days, the writer would pose twenty different questions to Chanyeol as they snuggled in bed.

 

“Chanyeol?”

 

“Mm?”

 

“Why do we change as people when we grow up? Why can't we go back to the way we were as children?”

 

Chanyeol did not have the right answers most of the time.

 

“Chanyeol?”

 

“Yes baby?”

 

“Which summer do you prefer? The one now, or the one years ago?”

 

“This summer.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because you are here now.”

 

“Which Baekhyun do you prefer?”

 

Chanyeol took a proper look at the person snuggling close to his neck. “You mean to say that there are two different Baekhyuns.”

 

“Well obviously. I can make love better now.”

 

Chanyeol bent to leave a kiss on the corner of Baekhyun’s mouth. “When I kiss you, you quiver the same. So I don't know.”

 

Dissatisfied with the answer, Baekhyun turned away. Chanyeol rubbed Baekhyun’s naked back, making the latter shake deliciously.

 

“I thought about you a lot.”

 

“Liar.” pat came Baekhyun’s reply.

 

 

 

In Junmyeon’s words, Chanyeol was really a gone case. 

 

“I never thought I would live to see the day when you'd be so smitten with someone. Baekhyun has you on a leash, you know that right?” Junmyeon marvelled.

 

They were waiting for Sehun and Baekhyun to show up at the dinner table.

 

“Speak for yourself. If any jewellery store were nearby, you'd fly to buy Sehun a ring.”

 

“And why wouldn't I? Such a fine boy. You should too, you know. You light up around Baekhyun.”

 

Chanyeol’s face fell. “Baekhyun doesn't want to be tied down. He would probably murder me in cold blood if I so much as mention settling down.”

“But if it were up to you, what would you do?”

 

“I would make him mine in a millisecond.” Chanyeol uttered without missing a beat. “But Baekhyun is - he hates the very idea of being tied down, to one person, to one place.”

 

“That's a shame. Come here, let me give you a hug. Awww.” They hugged good naturedly. When they parted, Baekhyun and Sehun were  looking down at them.

 

The writer shook his head in disapproval. He was weirdly territorial sometimes, not that he would say anything directly. But if Chanyeol and Junmyeon sat too close together, or Chanyeol and Sehun chatted idly, Baekhyun would casually sail in and place a hand on the engineer's chest, try to unbutton his shirt and put his fingers inside.

 

He was a wild little cub. Chanyeol did not understand Baekhyun’s many moods. He tried his best to not upset the cub.

 

“Now kiss me.” Baekhyun offered Chanyeol his pout and closed his eyes.

 

Baekhyun was like a cat, you kissed him when he let you. He had this habit of pouting, or pushing his face forwards, and when he made that kissy face, no matter where you are, you're supposed to go kiss him.

 

Sometimes he was as graceful as a gazelle, and other times, as perilous as the panther.

 

 

Chanyeol took Baekhyun on a ride to the Sobaeksan National Park one day. Despite staying n the lodge for the past how many months, Baekhyun had never visited the park. They wore matching tees and coordinated the colours of the outfits, smiling at each other in gleeful conspiracy.

 

As they walked around the Park, Chanyeol told Baekhyun about his parents.

 

“They went mad when I told them I was not straight. My father did not talk to me for months.”

 

“When was this?” Baekhyun asked, looking a little surprised at Chanyeol’s disclosure. Why did he look so shocked, Chanyeol wondered.

 

“Sometime after I broke up with Luna, when I knew, like really really knew that I couldn't get it up for girls.”

 

They walked in silence under the yew trees.

 

“Was that why you did not go to med school?” Baekhyun asked him, his manner serious. Chanyeol had never seen such concern for anyone in Baekhyun’s eyes, not even when the fruitseller had lost his cat.

 

“Yes.” Chanyeol hunched his shoulders, helping Baekhyun climb the slope. “I knew they were disappointed in me. Yet I did not want to disappoint myself any further. I did not go to med school out of spite.”

 

Baekhyun lent Chanyeol his warm touch, “And now? Are they fine with this?”

 

“I guess so. Either way, I don't care at all. Oh wait! They're not fine. They're already setting me up with girls I can marry.”

 

Baekhyun softly trudged alongside Chanyeol. “Don't you want children?” he asked.

 

Chanyeol turned to Baekhyun with his heart on his sleeves. “What I want, Baekhyun, is someone to love, someone who I can be myself with, someone who will effortlessly tie me up with invisible strings. I don't want children. I want someone to love.”

 

Baekhyun averted his eyes, unable to bear the intensity in Chanyeol’s eyes.

 

Pink rhododendrons littered the neat trail to the temple towards which they were walking.

 

They halted mid way to quench their thirst. Chanyeol plucked some wild flowers and made ornaments out of them for Baekhyun’s hair.

 

“My parents found out about me when I was probably thirteen. Papa always had an idea.” Baekhyun began when they made their onward trek towards the Huibangsa temple.

 

Chanyeol did not interrupt. It was probably for the very first time that Baekhyun mentioned his family. He knew nothing of the Byuns. “My father was a drunkard. He's dead now. Good.”

 

Baekhyun let Chanyeol touch his cheek lightly. “He used to come home and beat my mother, blaming her for the way I turned out. He gambled most of the money away. I saw my mother shrivel and die countless times. When he drowned to his own death, my mother and I could finally live in peace.”

 

“She was a school teacher. She made sure I was top at my class. It is probably due to her that I am who I am today. But even she isn't happy that I am gay. Who would be, honestly?”

 

Chanyeol stopped in his tracks. This made Baekhyun halt as well.

 

“I am happy that you are. It is because of you that I found myself. No Baekhyun, dont laugh. I am not joking, not even a bit. I discovered myself that summer, all thanks to you. You are that one person who changed everything. Even when you weren't around, just thinking of you gave me strength to come out to my parents. I could never thank you enough.”

 

“Tchhh.” Baekhyun tried to look cold, but he had wild flowers decking his hair, and he looked like an angel.

 

Chanyeol pulled the writer towards him and just held him, smelling the flowers entwined in the wavy hair. Baekhyun quivered deliciously as Chanyeol’s breath tickled his neck.

 

“You're so sexy, you'll be the death of me. My downfall.” Chanyeol hid his nose in the crook of Baekhyun's neck.

 

The cherub wiggled out of his hold. “Keep your dick inside your pants, Mister. We are going to visit a temple. Don't bring impure thoughts.” He was grinning.

 

The temple was built during the Silla reign. It was not too big, but quaint enough for Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s liking. They bent infront of the temple in prayer. Who knew what Baekhyun prayed for, but Chanyeol implored the Lord to be gentle.

 

“Please, let me take care of Baekhyun. I won't ever let him down. Allow me this.” he prayed.

 

On the way back, Chanyeol felt a subtle change in Baekhyun’s manner. The latter hugged Chanyeol as they rode their scooty back to the cottages. He was unnaturally quiet and clingy.

 

The engineer thought Baekhyun would again demand to be hoisted piggyback up the stairs, but the writer did no such thing. Instead, Baekhyun obediently followed Chanyeol to the fourth floor.

 

The writer tossed his clothes off the minute the door was locked, and stood waiting naked for Chanyeol to do the same.

 

“But you asked me to keep my dick inside my pants.” Chanyeol teased.

 

“You. Now.” Baekhyun ordered, climbing on the bed. When he touched himself there, slowly, deliberately, eyes clouded with lust, Chanyeol felt his penis react.

 

“You’ll really, really be the death of me.” Chanyeol let out a sigh, pulling his own pants off.

 

Baekhyun kissed him deep and slow when Chanyeol joined him in bed, his lovely fingers leaving goosebumps in Chanyeol’s skin.

 

Chanyeol carefully plucked out the blossoms from the cherub’s hair, “So lovely. So pliant.” he left kisses on Baekhyun's fair skin. “Such a lovely boy. My sweet, sweet.”

 

Baekhyun’s eyes closed at Chanyeol’s licks, sighing as Chanyeol whispered endearments.

 

“All mine. Aren't you?” Chanyeol whispered. Baekhyun opened his eyes and looked deep in the other’s soul. He nodded.

 

“Only mine.” Chanyeol whispered, laying Baekhyun back on the bed as gently as a baby. He positioned himself carefully on top of the man.

 

Baekhyun’s eyes never left Chanyeol’s that night, even as he came undone with the other’s full thrusts. Chanyeol was a considerate lover, he always made Baekhyun’s pleasure his priority. If the writer made even the slightest grimace of discomfort, Chanyeol would slow down and kiss Baekhyun all over his face.

 

Today, Chanyeol found himself kissing Baekhyun’s tears away.

 

“What is it, baby?” he slowed down his thrusts, concerned.

 

“Don't stop.” Baekhyun begged, but the tears wouldn't stop either. It was very disconcerting.

Chanyeol soon pulled out of Baekhyun’s warmth to cradle the now sobbing boy.

 

“Hey. What is it? I am here. You can talk to me.”

 

Baekhyun just held him and cried his eyes out.

“Why are you so nice?” Baekhyun wailed. “Why are you so good to me?”

 

Chanyeol wiped the tears away, startled out of his horny state. He kissed the boy and rubbed his hands all over Baekhyun. “It's because you deserve nothing but the best.” he whispered.

 

He let Baekhyun blow his nose in his t shirt, which was the only item within reach.

 

“I am sleepy and tired, and my cum is icky and all over me.” Baekhyun whined. Chanyeol laughed softly, and left another couple of kisses on Baekhyun’s red nose. He wiped the stickiness with his t shirt.

 

“Go to sleep. I will hold you close. Please don't be sad.”

 

“Don't let me go.” Baekhyun pleaded.

 

Chanyeol rocked him gently, “As if I ever could.”

 

 

He watched Baekhyun fall asleep with that tender mouth slightly parted. Chanyeol wanted to kiss that mouth very much, but feared doing so would wake the boy up. He wondered what made Baekhyun so emotional, one moment they were making love, the other moment Baekhyun started crying.

 

Byun Baekhyun was such a puzzle. Who knew he would randomly burst into tears like that. And knowing Baekhyun, he would never broach this subject again. The same Baekhyun who felt no shame in falling asleep in bed stark naked but would die before disclosing his innermost thoughts. Baekhyun was such a miser with his musings. Who knew what hurt he hid inside. If only Chanyeol could keep Baekhyun from all harm, if only Baekhyun shared his deepest fears with him.

 

True to nature, Baekhyun acted as though he hadn't literally bawled and clung to Chanyeol for dear life. He went about with his usual cheery manner, teasing Sehun, upsetting the cleaning lady, teasing Sehun some more.

 

It was very warm outside and Chanyeol had no inclination to leave the cottage but Baekhyun being Baekhyun, he was adamant to make the most out of a sunny day. They drove around in their mint green scooty aimlessly, stopping for the odd selca amidst beautiful sceneries.

 

Chanyeol was in love, with the place and with Baekhyun. They stopped at a small, roadside joint to fill their tummies with stew and rice. Of late, Chanyeol’s cell would not stop buzzing.

 

Baekhyun threw him inquisitive glances as he picked up the phone and spoke in English. The writer laid his chop sticks down and patiently waited for Chanyeol to finish talking over the phone.

 

“Is it something urgent?” Baekhyun asked.

 

“Just this consultancy service, reminding me that I need to give a reply to Rosneft soon, whether I shall be joining them.” Chanyeol shook his head, trying to convey that it was nothing of importance.

 

But the thoughtful way in which he chewed his food was not missed by the writer. “So, Russia huh?”

 

“Yup.” Chanyeol nodded thoughtfully, then added, suddenly inspired, “You should come with me. I will take you on a boat trip across river Moskva. We can walk around Moscow and go see the gardens.”

 

Baekhyun laughed at Chanyeol’s enthusiasm. “No. I am good.” he said. “I like it here. I like being close to home.”

 

Chanyeol acted as though the outright rejection did not hurt him as much.

 

But it was all he could think about as they climbed the staircase to their rooms. Suddenly, Chanyeol did not feel too enthused about joining Rosneft. Maybe he could pass up on their offer, maybe he could look for something closer home.

 

He had not disclosed this to Baekhyun but his consultant had given him a two week deadline. If he did not join Rosneft in two weeks, he would have no choice but to join Surgutneftegaz, and Surgutneftegaz wasn't offering the better deal of the two.

 

As Baekhyun’s soft breaths tickled his neck that night, Chanyeol lay awake, going over his options. He had made love to Baekhyun with that much intensity tonight. He was already saying goodbye, he realised.

 

He realised that Baekhyun would keep pushing him away. Baekhyun had probably pushed all others away. Chanyeol wanted to stay. He wanted to.

 

Maybe some day Baekhyun would decide to settle, and maybe that day, he would seek Chanyeol out. He could wait, he told himself, he would wait until Baekhyun came around. Eventually, the writer would have to. The chemistry they shared, it was one of a kind. Good luck to Baekhyun in finding that with someone else.

 

Chanyeol held Baekhyun tighter, he did not want to say goodbye yet. But he was a practical man, a thorough professional and very career oriented. He could not let Rosneft slip by just because he was waiting for a man to make up his mind - to ask him to stay or come along with him.

 

Baekhyun began typing furiously fast in his laptop the following day. He would not stop and when Chanyeol tried to force him to step out of the room for lunch, the writer glared at him. “Why don't you go ahead? I will ask Sehun to send me something to eat later.”

 

“Is everything okay?” Chanyeol prodded at Baekhyun’s uncharacteristic behaviour.

 

“I just don't want to get too used to you.” Baekhyun frowned. “I need my space is all.”

 

It hurt. The way Baekhyun could be so blunt hurt. But Baekhyun was Baekhyun and he usually spoke his mind.

 

Chanyeol meandered through the hills near the cottage after lunch. He purposefully chose a trail on which he and Baekhyun had not ventured out. He mindlessly followed the trail, dotted with wild flowers, thinking about everything and nothing.

 

Chanyeol paused in his tracks when he came at an even patch of grass. He gingerly sat down and pulled his cell phone out. The reply he sent to Rosneft was short and swift. He would be joining them as soon possible, he wrote.

 

He pocketed his cellphone and stood up at the sound of laughter. A boyfriend and his girlfriend, he supposed, going by how they were teasing each other. When the couple came into view, Chanyeol was well and truly startled. It was Go Ara’s husband, and that other lady. The husband was shocked as well, and he immediately dislodged his palm from where it was wandering over Sohyun’s breasts.

 

“You bastard.” Chanyeol growled, anger suddenly rising. Sohyun had turned a deep shade of tomato red.

 

“None of your business, you fucking homo.” Go Ara’s husband spat with his tobacco stained teeth.

 

Chanyeol launched himself at the man and stepped back only when he had battered the rice cake seller’s nose a bloody red.

 

Sohyun shrieked for Chanyeol to let the man go.

Go Ara’s husband had turned limp in submission at his superior strength.

 

Chanyeol returned to the cottage in rage, his fist covered in dried blood.

 

Baekhyun was pacing in the lawn infront of the lobby, hands in his pockets, manner tense. His mouth fell open when he saw Chanyeol’s injured fist.

 

“Where the hell were you the whole day?” he barked.

 

“I went for a walk.”

 

“You walked? The whole day? Why didn't you take me along?” Baekhyun blinked back tears of fury. He was furious.

 

Chanyeol did not say anything for some time.

 

“You were right. Go Ara’s husband is really having an affair with Sohyun. I saw them. I beat that guy.”

 

If Baekhyun was astonished earlier, he was dumbstruck now. “You beat him?”

 

“He called me a fucking homo.”

 

Baekhyun hands went up to his forehead. He sat down by the flower tubs and grabbed his shoulders. Then he started crying.

 

That really brought Chanyeol to his senses. He forgot about Go Ara’s husband in an instant.

 

“Hey. Baekhyun. Stop crying. Is it your work? Are you stressed because of your work?”

 

Baekhyun looked at him a little incredulously, his face tear stained, his nose runny.

 

Chanyeol chuckled inspite of himself and drew Baekhyun to his chest. The writer sure liked to burrow his head in his chest. Chanyeol left tender kisses on Baekhyun’s baby hair.

 

“You can't just push and pull me along, some day you will have to ask me to stay.” he whispered in Baekhyun’s ears.

 

“I don't know what you are talking about.” Baekhyun hit back, wiping away his snot in Chanyeol’s sleeves.

 

After Baekhyun’s moodiness subsided, they both paid Go Ara a visit in her quarters where she was resting. She did not cry at the news, but her eyes shone with something akin to determination. It was a determination very similar to Baekhyun’s, Chanyeol realised.

 

They helped her throw her husband’s stuff away. Sehun and Junmyeon came to help too.

 

“Let him go stay with that witch. They both deserve each other. Men are all like that. They make sweet promises in the beginning but leave you as soon as a shiny toy comes along.” Her eyes were on Sehun, who in turn looked towards Junmyeon. There was bitterness in her voice.

 

Chanyeol felt Baekhyun deflate by his side. He did not want Baekhyun to be this bitter ever.

 

The tragedy of Go Ara seemed to affect each one of them in different ways.

 

Junmyeon at once asked Sehun to accompany him back to Seoul so they could be near each other, promising to get him a job there. Sehun wisely asked for more time to think it over.

 

Baekhyun on the other hand, locked himself up in his room. He said he was writing but Chanyeol did not believe it.

 

“When you go to Russia, remember to send me a postcard.” Baekhyun smiled as they lay beside each other that night. Go Ara’s bitterness reflected in his eyes.

 

Chanyeol wanted to confess his true feelings to Baekhyun, but something stayed him. Was it his ego, or was he saving himself from the finality of rejection?

 

Just like last time, with a heavy heart, Chanyeol packed his clothes and his memories in his travel bag. But unlike last time, he knew he would not be able to get Baekhyun out of his head so easily.

 

Baekhyun’s kisses were magical, and so sweet, even his farewell kiss. The writer smelled him for the last time as Chanyeol hugged him before getting in the car.

 

“Go with a light heart, city boy. We shall meet again.” Baekhyun was genuinely smiling, with his whole heart, showing just how fond he was of Chanyeol.

 

“Soon.” Chanyeol promised.

 

Chanyeol let the image of a smiling Baekhyun waving goodbye sink in his heart. Junmyeon was driving yet again, slower than ever before, and Chanyeol did not mind this time.

 

“I love him.” Chanyeol said aloud.

 

“Ofcourse you do.” Junmyeon said softly. Goodbyes were hard, and their minds were in a peculiar place.

 

“If he had only asked me to stay once, just once, I would have thrown my career away like that.” Chanyeol snapped his fingers.

 

“Maybe he didn't want to ask you to stay. Maybe he wanted you to make your own choice, and choose him in the end.”

 

“Really?” Chanyeol had not thought about it. Could it be true? He felt like a fool not knowing what went inside Baekhyun’s complicated head. He had spent so much time with the writer, and yet here he was, at sea.

 

“I will be damned if I know what he wants.” He confessed.

 

Chanyeol wondered how much of a fool he was, to leave Baekhyun behind for a second time, to leave the one person behind who seemed like he could be the one. Who let go of such treasure? Only a fool. He stared out of the car. His heart was laden with a sense of loss, and grief, and guilt.

 

Chanyeol hugged those feelings, those reminders that Baekhyun had enriched his life yet again. By the time they reached Seoul, Chanyeol was absolutely certain, not that he had any doubts earlier. He was in love with Baekhyun.

 

 

Back home, Chanyeol sat his family down. “There's a man I like. I want him and only him as my life partner. So you guys can stop hunting brides for me.”

 

 His parents were shocked, but refrained from saying anything. They could sense his absolute seriousness regarding the issue. Chanyeol was grateful that his parents took the news in their stride.

 

In the last few days at home, Chanyeol sat down with his parents and exchanged stories. He listened to everything they had to say.

 He was not bitter any more.

 The days passed by in a blur.

 He waited. For a call, a message, anything from Baekhyun. There was radio silence on that front. Chanyeol’s fingers itched to make a call, but he decided he would give Baekhyun all the time in the world.

 

Nights were not the same without Baekhyun beside him. He felt cold in the summer, how funny.

 

Chanyeol’s legs felt like lead as he dragged his feet from the airport’s check in counter to the security gates. Dithering at first, the engineer promptly bought himself Baekhyun’s debut novel, Lake in the Moonlight, from the airport bookstore.

 

He waited until the last minute before boarding the flight. It would take him to Moscow via Almaty in Kazakhstan. Thankfully, he bagged the window seat. He was glad no one would disturb him as he paged through Lake in the Moonlight.

 

Just as he turned over the hardback cover, a young girl, not more than nineteen, sat herself promptly next to his seat. She gave him a courteous smile before dragging a naughty looking child to the seat next to her.

 “Hi.” the little girl said, hitting Chanyeol’s thigh lightly to grab his attention. The engineer gave the child a huge grin; the cherub reminded him of Baekhyun somewhat.

 “We’re travelling to Almaty.” the flustered looking teenager told Chanyeol, “Me and my neice. I hope she doesn't give you a hard time during the journey. She's very naughty.”

 “I don't mind naughty kids.” Chanyeol said agreeably, tickling the little one’s nose.

 

The girl noticed the book in his hand. “Ooooh. You're reading Lake in the Moonlight! That's my favorite. Byun Baekhyun is one of my favorite authors.”

 “He is? Well, I haven't read it yet. I thought I would read it in the flight.”

 “Excellent choice.” the girl said, putting her and her neice’s seatbelts on.

 Chanyeol opened the novel, his fingers gently ghosting over Baekhyun’s name.

 

In his acknowledgement, Baekhyun had addressed an unknown person, posing two questions -

 

_“How lonely is too lonely? How many summers must pass before time brings you back to me?”_

Chanyeol suddenly held his breath, gripping the book hard. It grabbed the girl’s attention.

 

“Anything wrong?”

 “No, just the author’s words are….strange.”

 The girl perked up, “You will understand when you read the entire novel. This is basically about a boy who falls in love at first sight with a citybred person. But he has no courage to confess, or ask his lover to stay. He thinks he is inadequate, not  good enough. So he is waiting for his lover to find his way back to him.”

 Chanyeol’s face went pale. In her excitement, the girl did not notice. “By the time our hero realises he is in love, his lover disappears without a trace. The boy looks for his lost love everywhere. At the end of the novel, readers are still in the dark whether the boy was able to find his teenage love. The search continues.”

 “Is this his autobiography?” Chanyeol asked haltingly, trying to appear normal.

 “It is autobiographical in nature, yes. Byun Baekhyun once joked at a Lit Fest that he hoped his own long lost lover would read the book and come find him. Hehe. But he could be joking. He is very eccentric afterall.”

 “Eccentric, very, yeah.” Chanyeol said, his mouth turning dry.

 “Ahjushhi, are you okay? You don't look too good.”

 “Ah, air sickness.” Chanyeol bluffed, clutching the book close to his chest.

 Was it true? Could….could Baekhyun be in love with him too? His mind ran off to Junmyeon’s words. Perhaps Baekhyun was too proud to ask Chanyeol to stay. Baekhyun was the person who probably never asked anyone to stay. The thought filled Chanyeol up with extreme sadness. He felt sad on Baekhyun’s behalf.

 There was only one way to find out.

 

In the end, Chanyeol never breathed the Russian air. He did not set foot outside Domodedovo International airport, scrambling to book the next flight to Seoul.

 

Home, he was going home, he was going back to Baekhyun.

 

 

(to be contd……)

 

 

 

 


	2. B version

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this took a long time coming. This final part was promised in December but ah! It's February now. Way to keep readers waiting. So anyhoo, I am just glad we can wrap this up now. Rif Rif, my baby, this concludes your bday gift. Thank you for your patience. I had such a lovely time writing this. 
> 
> This chapter is entirely written in Baekhyun's perspective. Please give him lots of love. 
> 
> It will probably not live up to expectations because I definitely wanted to do a better job. Ah well :D Have fun reading.

 

 

_“I was a quick wit boy, diving too deep for coins,_

_All of your street light eyes wide on my plastic toys,_

_Then when the cops closed the fair, I cut my long baby hair,_

_Stole me a dog eared map, cried for you every where.” - Flightless Bird._

  


Baekhyun did not break down when the car carrying Chanyeol away from him disappeared around the corner. He was strong like that. Afterall, he had once again succeeded in pushing Chanyeol away.

 

Stoic, very stoic as he walked around the hills with no particular destination in mind. Baekhyun walked very far and for very long and did not return to the lodge until after dusk had set.

 

No one came looking for him. No one was waiting for him. Why would they? His demons were his own to deal with.

 

Sehun came and sat beside him at dinner. But poor boy could not alleviate his stress. Was that it? Stress? Or the pang of letting someone go who you should have clutched to death instead?

 

Why did Chanyeol always leave when Baekhyun asked him to? Why could not he choose to stay, fight to stay, demand to stay?

 

That particular emptiness after someone walks out of your life - for Baekhyun saw Chanyeol's leaving as such - came and visited him as he sat all alone at dinner. Baekhyun did not chase that emptiness away, he invited it in. It was an all too familiar guest.

 

Baekhyun reassured Sehun with a laugh there, a joke here. He made stupid imitations of irritating lodge guests and winked suggestively at Sehun.

 

Almost a week in, Baekhyun prided himself on how well he was doing, how well he could grab the bull by its thorns, and carry himself even when he was at odds with himself.

 

He took the scooty and rode around the area, enjoying himself under the sun, even buying beer for himself on the way back.

 

He was doing remarkably well, he reassured himself. He was not only doing remarkably well, he was excelling at it.

 

The eccentric author sent a family of five into peals of laughter at dinner, recounting his escapades with members of the press. One of them had tears in his eyes from laughing too hard. They clapped for him, his little act. Byun Baekhyun was quite the performer.

  


Baekhyun was also proud of himself that he managed to write five whole pages. He was not only doing well, he was being quite productive too. Maybe a little heartbreak was not too bad for writers. Maybe it acted like a fillip, a nudge, opened new doors to understanding the human psyche.

 

Hmmm...he was doing just fine. Nothing could dampen his spirit.

 

Sleeping at night came easy too. It was not hard for him to fall asleep, especially after his preferred nightcap - scotch whiskey. Neat.

 

So what if Go Ara made it a point to glower at him whenever she had to pull out empty liquor bottles from under his bed while cleaning. If she had concerns about his abnormally high spirits and empty liquor bottles, she did not say a thing. She was stoicism personified. As he was charade personified.

 

And that is how the afternoons and evenings tumbled into one another, overlapping and spreading. Baekhyun had declared his cellphone as his new enemy and it lay abandoned in one corner of his room.

 

Byun Baekhyun was not a morning person. He struggled to wake up every morning, and when he finally did, he preferred having breakfast in bed with a large pot of coffee. Whether it was hangover, or uncharacteristic clumsiness - it was hard to say, but late one morning, the pot of coffee tumbled from the tray and spilled the hot liquid all over his white, pristine bedsheet.

 

That did it. Somehow, his bed cover blotting the brown liquid did it! In a sudden fit of rage, Baekhyun threw the contents of his breakfast along with the aluminium serving plate against the wall. The breakfast things made a wild clamour as they crashed against the wall and landed in tiny bits on the floor, escaping in all directions.

 

His laptop, half burrowed under the pillow, was the next thing to crash land on the floor. Screw his manuscript. Screw it all.

 

Anger totally claiming him, the writer looked around for the next thing to tear down. He threw the books and pillows from his bed and upturned the mattress with a bloody heave.

 

It was the turn of the bedside clock to be hurled next, but it landed harmlessly on a pillow. Further riled that the clock made it unharmed, Baekhyun reached for his abandoned cellphone and stepped on it, crushing it to bits and shards.

 

Eating, sleeping, jogging, smiling, talking nonsense - his body was used to doing things on autopilot even as, even as his soul lay dying elsewhere. Baekhyun was a past master at faking. He faked. He was a fake. He could fake and no one noticed. Why did not any one notice? Why could not any one tell? Why was not any one concerned?

 

That he was unhappy.

 

Perhaps he was too used to offering a smile at every puzzle life threw. When did it even begin, this foolish game of dumb charades?

 

Baekhyun stepped on his cellphone some more. He kicked at the dressing mirror and stumbled back at the impact. Shards of glass scattered over the floor like stars falling out of the sky.

  


For Baekhyun, the sky was falling. The sky had been falling for a long time now.

 

The cleaning lady, Go Ara, was used to Baekhyun’s schedule by now. She never came and disturbed him before lunch. Late afternoons were when she would firmly knock on his door.  

 

Baekhyun liked teasing the maid. He would often tell her all sorts of jokes. He liked to believe that Go Ara saw right through his pretense. Atleast some one should. Or what was the point in living?

 

Go Ara found the door ajar that afternoon. She calmly took in the abject disarray of the room, the books strewn around, the vases embracing their death on the floor, the wall hangings no longer in their rightful place, and glass, glass everywhere. It was as if Byun Baekhyun hated every item in his room with a vengeance and made each of them pay dearly for bringing him agony.

 

Baekhyun sat crouched in his shardless corner, hugging his knees. He watched furtively as Go Ara picked up the scattered items wordlessly and put them in their rightful place. It took her a lot of time but she did not utter a single complaint. It was as though she knew that even a small complaint would send Baekhyun teeteering over the edge.

 

The writer did not change position and sat in his morbid manner as Go Ara broomed and mopped. He wondered why she did not pose a single question. When the room was as spic and span as it could be, (minus several objects) Go Ara pulled her apron and gloves away and came to sit by his side.

 

“Do you think I bore it well when my lecherous husband left me?”

 

Baekhyun looked up from his scowling. Go Ara peered at him, her eyes devoid of judgment of any kind.

 

“I went to the mountains and hid myself behind the trees and had a good cry all by myself. I went for a second time, and then a third time. I went there only day before, to scream. I let it all out. When will you?”

 

Baekhyun swallowed.

 

Go Ara’s tone softened.

 

“I am only a cleaning lady, and I have never set foot outside this town. But I - everyone should cry once in a while, sometimes even when there is no reason to. Do not bottle things up or you will -” Go Ara pulled a share of glass from where it had stuck to Baekhyun’s pajamas, “end up hurting yourself.”

 

“How did it feel?”

 

Go Ara looked at him in incomprehension.

 

“Crying. How did it feel?” He elaborated.

 

“Light. Not entirely, but atleast I could process things with a clearer mind.”

 

Baekhyun reached out for Go Ara’s hand and clasped it hard.

 

Misery seeks comfort, misery seeks misery; misery is both quantified and doused in misery.

 

Go Ara edged closer to Baekhyun. She had not much warmth of her own to offer, but she could lend him a ear. Sometimes that is all it took - a concerned listener - to clear the clouds floating in one's mind. “Do you want to talk about him? Chanyeol?” she prodded.

 

“No.” Baekhyun growled.

 

“It is okay to show that nothing bothers you. It is. But isn't it far better to accept that something is bothering you?”

 

“Chanyeol is not the problem. I am.” Baekhyun clutched his hair and pulled hard. “Arrrrrrgh! I am what’s wrong with me.”

 

Go Ara waited, a matronly look on her face. God, how much fortitude did she have, Baekhyun wondered. Suddenly, he was ashamed of himself and his many weaknesses. He was ashamed of losing it earlier and turning the room into a horrid mess. He was not worried of being charged for the damage he caused, but ashamed because Go Ara had to work double to undo the mess he created. And here she was, crouched next to him, willing to burden herself with his troubles.

 

“My father was not a very nice person. He used to drink and gamble and sit idle all day. He snatched my mother's earnings every month. He beat the shit out of me when he discovered my drawings of a boy kissing another boy!”

 

The cleaner’s eyes widened. Baekhyun shook his head. “I am over it. But it is not a happy memory, you know. Being beaten black and blue for being who you are.”

 

Go Ara began to say something but Baekhyun stayed her. He wanted to talk, he wanted her to listen.

 

“My mother would hide away and cry. She cried so much, I hated it. I hated how her eyes were always swollen in the morning. Everyone in the school could tell, she was a teacher, my mother. So I tried to be extra bright, for her sake. For every time my father made her miserable, I tried to make her laugh. I tried to be her cheerleader and soon, without me even realising it, the act became a part of my nature. Every where I went, I cheered people up. I refused to be pinned down.”

 

Baekhyun paused to swallow a lump in his throat. He had learned early on that if he had to get by, he would have to put up a facade. A farce. But by little bit, the facade embraced his person with such finality that he became what he aspired to show to others - lively and without a care in the world.

 

“But why would anyone come and love a person such as me, devoid of any real emotions, play acting? It took months of counselling to realise that I too was worthy of being loved, you know? I don't think I have grasped the concept even now. I keep thinking everything about me is fake.”

 

“I - I think I hated my dad. What's worse, I think I hate my mother too, from time to time...but most of all, I hate myself.”

 

Baekhyun drew circles on his pajamas with his finger. “I shut myself up emotionally. I never learnt to open myself. Why would anyone want to put up with me?”

 

Go Ara patted Baekhyun’s knees. You can be the keenest person on earth, and yet be oblivious to the sorrow hidden under the depths of the person sitting across from you.

 

“Chanyeol put up with you for almost the entirety of summer.” she pointed out.

 

“He left.” Baekhyun spat. “He left in the very first opportunity that presented itself.”

 

“Do you really believe that?”

 

Baekhyun rolled his eyes. “Okay. So maybe I pushed him to go.” _But he should have stayed, nonetheless._ “Frankly, it saves me a lot of hassle.” _And heartbreak._ “Eventually people tire of one another. Why wait for the other person to show you the door?” _It definitely hurts much less if you did the kicking anyway._

 

“But what if that person never tires of you?”

 

Baekhyun scoffed, “Yeah, right? Look what happened in your case.” He immediately looked stricken, “I am sorry. I don't know what I was thinking-”

 

Go Ara waved his apology aside, “You think I will stop living or looking for love just because he cheated on me? You are wrong. I will gather myself up, slowly but steadily, and I will find myself that great love which I _deserve._ Which everyone deserves, even you, especially you. Who cares if your father did not love you? Not every person is your father, not every person is my husband.”

 

Baekhyun was a little shame faced.

 

Go Ara straightened up, “I don't pry into the lives of others. I don't care what is going on between the two of you. But from what little I saw, he made you happy and you made him happy too. I don't know. I am a simple cleaning lady. But isn't that all it takes, all that matters? You think about it. And next time, don't mess the room up. Call your friend up instead.”

 

“I broke my phone.” Baekhyun smiled wryly. “And anyway, Chanyeol must have left for Russia by now.” He stood up as well.

  


That evening, Baekhyun walked to the phone booth and gave his mother a call. Just to catch up with her, he told his mother. He called Chanyeol up too but the minute the engineer said 'Hello’, Baekhyun kept the receiver down. He was mildly panicking. He did not know what to say to Chanyeol. What would he say? That he would be waiting? “Hey, I made a mistake. Please don't go to Russia. Or take me along?”

 

It sounded stupid to his ears. Maybe they will meet again and this time, maybe he will ask Park Chanyeol to stay. Maybe.

 

Park Chanyeol seemed like the sort who would stay if he begged enough. But Chanyeol was a man who could take his own decisions. And Baekhyun was not a man who took decisions for others.  

 

Baekhyun started packing his bags the next day. He had no destination in mind but he wanted to leave this place. It would keep reminding him of Chanyeol too much, he realised. And he did not need reminders, Chanyeol was already engraved in his soul.

 

How funny! Only a few weeks ago, he had been so excited at the prospect of Chanyeol coming to stay in the lodge.

 

Baekhyun had befriended Sehun the very day he had arrived at Sobaeksan.

  


Just as he had befriended Chanyeol at the summer camp years and years ago. It seemed like a long time ago, but the memory was etched neatly in Baekhyun’s mind, never to be erased off by the vagaries of time.

 

He had been aware of Chanyeol’s eyes on him all through the evening at the camp. The idea that he had a very attractive admirer was what made his gestures more animated that night.

 

The boy seemed about his age, but he was taller. The black hair was cut in a city chic style and the eyes were the dopiest Baekhyun had ever seen. Large and warm. If eyes were the windows to one’s soul, Baekhyun surmised that the boy’s soul must have a lot of depth.

 

Why is he only looking at me, Baekhyun had wondered to himself, albeit in delight. To add to his pleasure, the boy had come to introduce himself of his own accord. Chanyeol - he had said in a throaty, sexy, intimidating voice. But those warm eyes and the gentle manner put Baekhyun quite at ease.

  


Baekhyun had replied with his own name, secretly worrying that Chanyeol would find it coarse, vulgar.

 

As the days progressed, Baekhyun was delighted at the attention that was bestowed on him so freely, so generously. Can this handsome boy really be into him, him? Really? Uncouth, with no filter in his mouth, doing and saying stupid things all the time. This suave city boy with the perfect side burns? Could he really like him?

 

He, made impure by the vagaries of life, why did Chanyeol look at him like that? Like he some pristine water flowing from virgin waterfalls?

 

Chanyeol was not only good looking, but he turned out to be a good kisser as well. And they kissed plenty, quickly finding spots to hide from the others.

 

Baekhyun thoroughly enjoyed being kissed by the boy and later, he would find out that he liked being fucked by the boy too. Kissing had its own uses; it saved him the trouble of conversation.

 

He was scared of having a real conversation with Chanyeol.

 

Chanyeol could really talk without inhibitions. In a matter of days, Baekhyun learnt that Chanyeol’s parents were both doctors, and that he himself wanted to follow in their footsteps. He was scared that Chanyeol would one day ask about his parents, and what would he say then? That his father was unemployed, and his parents fought every other day? That he had no plans for himself save for surviving his father’s fits of drunken rage?

 

How could he let Chanyeol know what he really was - a little broken, a little lost, a lot damaged.

So he let Chanyeol see the best of him - the lively Baekhyun, the Baekhyun who had no care in the world. The Baekhyun who was very much into Chanyeol, always latched and attached to his side. Always dismissive, never forthcoming.

 

If Chanyeol found him to be an enigma, even better. Because Chanyeol was so, so hot, how could he match up to the boy otherwise?

 

The boy looked at him as if he was special. As if he was unique. It was a thrilling discovery. Baekhyun would not have problems whatsoever, later in his life, attracting people to his midst. It was a confidence which would stem from the absolute devotion Chanyeol showed towards him that summer. But Baekhyun did not equate it with love, not just then. Baekhyun was slightly impervious to the idea of love. Why would anyone love him in the first place, he thought?

 

They did everything together during their stay in the summer camp. They laughed a lot. They breathed each other in and smiled at each other. Chanyeol followed Baekhyun around, even when Baekhyun broke rules, or tried dangerous stunts. Chanyeol was always there to break his fall.

 

That summer was Chanyeol, and Baekhyun remembered no other aspect other than the boy with the abnormally large ears. That summer was walking hand in hand, in the dawn, in the dusk, in boy shorts, often covered in dust from lying down on the ground together.

 

That summer was learning to swim in different styles, with both he and Chanyeol trying to outdo each other. That summer was slowly discovering sensuality, and sexuality, and the pure delight in being thoroughly cared for. That summer would take such a long time in coming back to their lives, Baekhyun had no idea. That summer was slowly falling in love, with no idea that they had indeed fallen.

 

I don't deserve this - Baekhyun would think over and over again at Chanyeol’s obvious displays of affection. For Chanyeol could be so affectionate, tickling his ears, playing with his fingers, whispering in his ears, cuddling him, sucking his fingers, sucking his toes, playing with his tummy. Love, actually.

 

They followed each other everywhere, there were no boundaries. Which is why Baekhyun thought nothing of following Chanyeol to the supervisor’s room where the latter had to attend to a call from his parents.

 

Chanyeol appeared strangely nervous about talking to his parents. Why, Baekhyun wondered. They were good people from what he had surmised.

 

Chanyeol stopped Baekhyun from chuckling while he was on the phone.

 

“They must not know about us.” Chanyeol whispered, pointing his hand to Baekhyun and then at himself.

 

Baekhyun sat very erect, as though doused with cold, very cold water.

 

“Yes dad?” Chanyeol spoke into the receiver, missing Baekhyun's quick change in demeanour. “Yup. Camp gets over next Sunday. Eleven in the morning. Cool. I can't wait to see you guys as well. I miss you too. See you dad.”

 

“My father is coming to pick me up next week.” he informed as they stepped out of the supervisor’s tent. Baekhyun followed closely behind. He was thinking hard.

 

Baekhyun was uncharacteristically quiet peeling eggs that evening. When Chanyeol offered to keep in touch after camp, he determinedly turned the idea down. It was his own small revenge. Revenge for being shushed earlier while Chanyeol was on the phone. Why should he continue to be friends with someone who lacked the temerity to own up to his parents that he was gay? It was a petty thing to do, but necessary for mending the hole that had formed in his ego.

 

Chanyeol looked taken aback at his nonchalance but Baekhyun was already building invisible walls. The perceived slight to Baekhyun’s ego helped him in keeping Chanyeol at bay long enough not to go running after the latter as he got into his father’s car. But when the car disappeared round the corner, Baekhyun looked for an isolated area. To cry. He shed copious amount of silent tears, all the while gazing at the dried leaves on the ground.

 

He called Jongin up and begged him to come get him from the camp because no way could he walk all that distance alone. Not when Chanyeol casually walked out of his life.

 

Even though the fling left a bittersweet taste in Baekhyun’s mouth, that summer and the lingering memory of Chanyeol’s undivided amd undisputable affection for him would help Baekhyun in getting by most things in life. It only takes one man’s absolute faith in you to give you the strength to propel ahead in life. Baekhyun knew he was foolish in letting that one person walk out of his life.

  


There would be a low point in his life when he would call up all the 36 colleges in Korea offering medicine as a subject to enquire after one Park Chanyeol. But there were no records of any student with that name.

 

Chanyeol had well and truly disappeared from his life. Baekhyun had lovers after Chanyeol; but no one stayed. None of them measured up to the yardstick that Chanyeol had set, on how they should care for Baekhyun and look at him. Kiss him and tease him. Laugh with him. Walk beside him. Mould with him.

 

It would be much later, after many many counselling sessions, that he would realise that he was worthy of being loved too. Perhaps what shone in Chanyeol’s eyes making him melt had been love all along?

 

Most people write because they have a story to tell; Baekhyun wrote his award winning novel because he had a person to find. So he wrote. Writing was easy. All he wanted to achieve from publishing his book was to find the one who had got away. His book became a huge success, but no one came forth claiming to be his long lost summertime fling.

 

Finding Chanyeol was of utmost importance seeing as how no one measured up to the standards he had set. But he remained out of reach for the time being.

 

Life went on. And it was not a bad life either, mind you. Lady Luck had been generous, there was no dearth of either fame and money or people who were genuinely invested in Baekhyun and cared for him.

 

However, there was a missing piece in the puzzle that was Baekhyun’s life. That piece eluded him for so long that when Chanyeol walked back into his life, Baekhyun found himself being swept away along with the tide.

 

It was a stroke of luck that the guy Sehun was currently interested in was Chanyeol’s best friend. Baekhyun could not believe his own eyes when Sehun innocently showed him the profile of Park Chanyeol in the dating app very dubiously titled Thicc Thighs. He was elated. He was relieved. Park Chanyeol was single as well. And what was more, he was ready to come mingle.

 

If timing was everything, God had the best sense of humour.

 

That rare sort of love where you are willing to turn to ashes, become nothing, at once losing and finding yourself - how many stars must align in the universe for such a miracle to occur? Would they align for him, dare he hope for such grace?

 

It took all of Baekhyun’s legendary aplomb to go face the newly arrived Chanyeol at the terrace withoit panicking. He changed his outfit thrice!

 

The fact that Chanyeol had never read the novel, a whole 465 pages of confession meant only for him, dampened Baekhyun’s spirits. The very obvious fact that Chanyeol was just as smitten with him elevated his mood. Nothing had changed.

 

Baekhyun had searched high and low for Chanyeol, and there the engineer was, having travelled the world. What riled Baekhyun up was the fact that Chanyeol had several meaningful relationships whereas he himself had none.

 

Yet again Chanyeol was ready to leave for Russia, and yet again, Baekhyun wanted to play no part in making Chanyeol’s decisions for him. But he hoped, he prayed very much that Chanyeol would choose him. Which did not come to pass. Hence the misery. Hence the bag packing.

 

Let me disappear this time, he thought. Let Chanyeol come find him wherever he was. Let him sweat for once.

 

Baekhyun had three more days to go in Sobaeksan. He made peace with the place, he made peace with all the places Chanyeol and he had been to.

 

The staff knew not to disturb the erratic writer before lunch time. They knew he was not exactly a morning person. Baekhyun was slightly irritated when the knocks on his door would not cease that morning. He tried ignoring the knocks (which grew urgent as the minutes ticked) and dug his head under a pillow. And yet the knocks would not cease.

 

“I am sleeping. Go away.” he yelled, thoroughly nonplussed.

 

The knocking ceased abruptly.

 

“Do you really want me to go away?” a very familiar and dreamy voice yelled back.

 

Baekhyun leapt up on the bed, alarmed. What in God’s name, he thought.

 

“Chanyeol?” he cried out, hurrying to find his t shirt.

 

“Yeah, it's me.” Chanyeol’s voice sounded amused.

  


Baekhyun scrambled with the door knob.  Chanyeol smiled warmly at him when he finally managed to open the door.

 

It did not appear to Baekhyun to reply the smile with some corny dialogue. He was confused and he let it show. Chanyeol’s smile was very bright, the brightest he had seen it. He must have set out of his home at first light of dawn to reach Sobaeksan mid morning.

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

Chanyeol shrugged, and the smile was replaced with an intense look. “I read your book on the flight to Moscow. I loved it.”

 

Baekhyun processed the words, and the meaning behind them. The meaning behind Chanyeol’s intense stare. He felt very exposed.

He had pictured this scene so many times in his mind, way back when his novel had just debuted. That Chanyeol would rush to him, book in hand, from whichever corner of the world he was at.

 

“If you fell in love with what I wrote,” Baekhyun began haltingly, “it is as if you have fallen in love with me.”

 

He waited in anticipation.

 

Chanyeol’s eyes glinted. They were very warm, all encompassing. Baekhyun had not yet given Chanyeol permission to enter his room.

 

“Touche.” Chanyeol agreed, stepping inside the room, drawing nearer to Baekhyun. “I never denied that fact.”

 

Baekhyun’s hand trembled. His entire body was trembling. Seeing this, Chanyeol quickly enveloped him in a tight hug. Baekhyun struggled to say something.

 

“Shhh. Don't say a word. Just don't say a word. Just let me hold you. Like this. I came back for you. I am here now. I am not gonna leave anymore. So hush.” Chanyeol’s heart beats sounded like a roar to Baekhyun’s ears.

 

Baekhyun extracted himself from Chanyeol’s hold after a while. “Is this for real?”

 

“For others? I don't know. Because it looks like I exist only for you. I don't care if you push me away. I don't care if you ask me to go. Because I won't. Not this time. I will go wherever you go, sleep wherever you sleep, laugh with you and cry with you. When you are angry, I will be your punching ball. When you can't stand my presence, I will go stand outside. When you cry, I will cry with you. When you hurt, I will hurt with you. I will be by your side every step along the way.”

 

Baekhyun felt inexplicably angry. How elegant are words, and how useless too.

 

“How deep is your love, really?” Baekhyun could not help being petty, his voice sharp. “You forgot about me in a matter of days, whereas I - I looked for you everywhere. Do you have any idea what pains I took to look for you? I rang up every God fucking medical college in the country while you nicely found yourself a girl friend!”

 

Chanyeol looked taken aback at the disclosure.

 

“I am sorry. I am sorry.” he was saying, “But I am here now. I read the book and realised that this is where I belonged, by your side.”

 

“And if you hadn't? You would have happily found someone for yourself in Russia, just like last time.”

 

“That's not true.” Chanyeol defended himself, “You were my end game. I was waiting for you.”

 

“And I waited for you for so long! How deep is your love, huh? How long does it last?” Baekhyun pushed Chanyeol away.

 

“You sent me away!” Chanyeol appeared flabbergasted at Baekhyun’s hostility.

 

“You shouldn't have left, bloody.” Baekhyun glared daggers at the man.

 

“Don't be like that Baekhyun. How is it my mistake? Be reasonable.”

 

“Fuck reason.” Baekhyun pushed past Chanyeol and marched out of the room. He hurried down the stairs and paused to catch his breath in the courtyard. Everything was happening so fast, his head was spinning. He was confused. He was elated. He was angry. He did not know what to do, how to be!

 

Baekhyun paced up and down the courtyard, unwilling to walk up the stairs and face Chanyeol. His nerves calmed down after a while had passed.

 

No matter where he went, he could not outrun himself. Would it not be a million times better if he paused and let things be? If he let Chanyeol catch up? If he just let Chanyeol love him?

 

Chanyeol was here now, was not he? It took the man quite some time, but he was here now, and that is all that mattered at the end of the day.

 

Baekhyun ran up the stairs.

 

Chanyeol had not booked a room for himself, it seemed. His stuff was carefully deposited in a corner of Baekhyun’s room. Very coolly, the engineer had decided to take a shower in Baekhyun’s bathroom.

 

By the time he showered, Baekhyun ordered room service and was sipping coffee and glaring when Chanyeol resurfaced.

 

“I am sorry -”

 

“It is not your fault.” Baekhyun stopped Chanyeol in his tracks. “I didn't realise….I did not love myself. There are many things which you don't know about me. I could not recognise your love. How could I? I did not think I was fit to be loved. But you.. you treated me so well. Like I was your sun. And I began loving myself too. I am sorry. I don't know what came upon me. I don't know why I acted so rude -”

 

“It's okay.” Chanyeol cut him off softly, taking a seat by his side.

 

Baekhyun snorted, “If my heart hadn't broken, I - I wouldn't have come so far.”

 

Chanyeol took his hand and placed it on his lap, enveloping it with both of his own.

 

“I guess both of us were too young back then and needed to grow. That was a missed chance. But I do not want to miss this one. You have to believe me when I say that I truly, only want to end up with you. When I went back to Seoul, the first thing I did was to tell my parents about you. That it was you and you alone who I wanted to marry.”

 

Baekhyun looked up. “You didn't.”

 

Chanyeol smiled. “But I did. What's more, they gave me their blessings. I had no idea whether you loved me back in return, or if you would ever be willing to be with me, but I went ahead and told them what I wanted. That I would patiently wait for you. Even now, I don't mean to rush you into things. You take your own sweet time. I will wait.”

 

“What about your job in Russia? Would you let go of all that if I asked you to?”

 

Chanyeol shook his head, “I wouldn’t. I know you wouldn't ask that of me either.”

 

Baekhyun nodded. “You want me to accompany you?”

 

“Only if you absolutely want to. I don't want to uproot you. We can try to do the long distance thing-”

 

“I don't want a long distance relationship.” Baekhyun declared. He wanted his man all for himself, all by himself, always around. Especially since Chanyeol had taken his own sweet time reaching out to him.

 

“Oh!”

 

Baekhyun gave a tentative smile. “I will go with you to Russia.”

 

Chanyeol looked like he wanted to celebrate. “Are you sure?”

 

“I can write from wherever. But it would be mean to wrest you from your job.” Baekhyun accepted.

 

“So then - can I safely assume that you love me back?” Chanyeol was grinning.

 

Baekhyun leaned against Chanyeol’s chest, smelling the freshly showered skin, “You have to be very patient with me.” he warned.

 

“I will love you every second of every hour.” Chanyeol said in reply, embracing Baekhyun in his arms.

 

“That's all I ask.” Baekhyun pulled back long enough to look at Chanyeol’s eyes, “I love you too. I don't even know how long you have lived inside me.”

 

Chanyeol rubbed Baekhyun’s back. “I am sorry I did not come looking for you sooner.”

 

Baekhyun rubbed his nose against Chanyeol’s throat. “You would have, eventually.”

 

“Eventually.” Chanyeol agreed, with not a shred of doubt.

 

They stayed like that for a while, perfectly ensconced in each other.

 

“Did Junmyeon accompany you?” Baekhyun’s curiosity got the better of him.

 

“Yes.” Chanyeol laughed. “He and Sehun are having their own little reunion downstairs.”

 

Baekhyun sighed, pleased with the world. His fingers found Chanyeol’s collar, “You will always, always have to love me.” he threatened.

 

“I can never not love you.” Chanyeol kissed the tip of Baekhyun’s nose. “I love you in the summer. I will also love you in the winter.”

 

“You can't disturb me when I sit down to write.”

 

Chanyeol pouted. “Not even a small kiss?”

 

Baekhyun answered by bringing their lips together and leaving a very wet kiss on Chanyeol’s mouth. “Kisses are exempt.” he decided.

 

“Good.” Chanyeol laughed, stopping for another kiss from the very pliant lips. “You don't know how much I wanted this.”

 

Baekhyun leaned into Chanyeol’s touches, “I was going to leave Sobaeksan soon. I am all packed and all.” He declared, very proud of himself.

 

“Ofcourse. Did you have any particular destination in mind?”

 

Baekhyun shook his head. “No.”

 

Chanyeol lovingly patted Baekhyun’s soft hair, “How do you feel about coming with me to Seoul. You can stay at my place. I will introduce you to the parents.”

 

“Whoa. Not so fast.” Baekhyun panicked.

 

Chanyeol’s rubbed Baekhyun’s shoulders. “Fast? I think I am going pretty slow with you.”

 

Baekhyun snickered. “Don't I know? By now, my clothes should have been on the floor, but here we are, discussing about serious stuff.” He looked suggestively at Chanyeol. God, he had missed the man so much. This beautiful, handsome man who had come back for him. Blessed, blessed summer.

 

Chanyeol laughingly tackled Baekhyun on the bed.

 

Half an hour later, they lay panting on the bed, wrapped around each other, both sated.

 

“I had known from the day that I arrived that I was going to fall for you so bad.” Chanyeol confessed.

 

Baekhyun smiled. He no longer felt at odds with himself. “Take me to meet your parents.”

 

“Byun Baekhyun. Are you serious?”

 

“Absolutely. You were my end game too.”

 

Chanyeol scooted closer to Baekhyun. “You told me earlier that there are many things which I don't know about you. And I agree. But you take your time. There is no rush. For now, being with you is more than enough for me.”

 

Baekhyun breathed Chanyeol’s skin, “I love you so much.”

 

“I love you too.”

 

And for the first time in his life, Baekhyun believed that yes, it was okay for someone to love him. That he deserved to be loved too.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. xx 
> 
> Those of you who are waiting for updates to The Wolfssegner and his Wolf, expect a chapter on Valentine's Day :D
> 
> Take care, you guys.


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